You Might Be a Farmer If...

Here's a list of things that probably came off of an email forward somewhere. I really don't like stereotypes but they wouldn't be stereotypes if they weren't mostly true. We are stereotypically farmers. If it is, or has been true for Ben (to the best of my knowledge ) or I it is listed in orange. I'm not going extend this to immediate family members but it would allow me to highlight a few more. Have fun seeing how "farmer" we really are.

Your dog rides in the truck more than your wife

You have driven off the road while examining your neighbor's crops

You have used a chainsaw to remodel your house (I promised I wouldn't extend my list to family members, but my house has been remodeled with a chain saw, just not by me. You know who you are!) ;)

You have buried a dog and cried like a baby

You have borrowed gravel from the county road to fill potholes in your driveway

You always look when a vehicle passes your house, even at night

You have used something other than paper as toilet paper

You have animals living in buildings more expensive than your house

Your family instantly becomes silent when the weather comes on the news

You don't bother to clean up the dog's mess because it's just fertilizer, and the dog knows to stay out of your way

Your husband drives a friend home from the bar when he only lives 3 houses away

You'll skip your own cousin's funeral for the first day of deer season ( and you know he would approve and would do the same if you died )

You have enough ball caps to match every shirt you own, but you only wear one so you don't get the others dirty

You convince your wife that an overnight, out of State trip for parts (or a Farm Bureau conference) is a vacation

You've never thrown away a 5 gallon bucket

You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house

You have used baling wire to attach a license plate

You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population, herbicide rate, and yields on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife's birthday

You have used a tractor with a loader as scaffolding for painting or roof repairs (on more than one occasion)

You have fibbed to a mechanic about how often you greased a piece of equipment

You've used the same knife to make bull calves into steers and peel apples

You wave at every vehicle whether you know them or not

Your wife agrees to observe Mother's Day after the beans are planted (some other sacrifice for the farm)

Over 50% of your clothing came from feed or seed dealers (easily)

You give directions to your farm by using area landmarks, not road names or number
You refer to farms by who owned them 50 or more years ago

You've been stopped by the deputy sheriff for a cluttered dashboard

Family weddings and special events are planned around spring planting and fall harvest (Ben raked hay the morning of ours)

Your know that checkoff is not a Russian diplomat

The rusted out areas of your truck are sealed off with old tee-shirts or duck tape

You can eat an ear of sweet corn with no utensils in under 20 seconds

You pick up all the free stuff at the State Fair

It takes 30 seconds to reach your destination and it's clear across town

You can tell the difference between the smell of a skunk and the smell of a feedlot

The meaning of true love is that you'll pose for a picture with both him and his favorite tractor (or hay squeeze)

The meaning of true love is that you'll ride in the tractor (or hay squeeze) with him

You consider a building a mall if it's bigger than the local Wal-Mart

You know you should listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit

You know cow pies aren't made of beef

Your excuse for getting out of school is that the cows got out

Your early morning prayer covers rain, cattle, and pigs

You consider a romantic evening driving through Hardees and renting a hunting instructional video

You can tell it's a farmer working late in the field, know who it is, what they're doing, and not think it's a UFO

You listen to "Paul Harvey" every day at noon and never get tired of him saying, "Gooooood day"

Your nearest neighbor is in the next section, and you know what a section is

You actually understand the geographical necessity of correction lines

When you were little, you "beat-up" another kid on school bus arguing over the color of tractors

Your other vehicle is a tractor (or hay squeeze)

You know enough to get your driving done on Sundays before the "Sunday drivers" come out

If you were given $1,000,000.00 you would keep right on farming. You'd farm differently, but you'd keep farming because that is who and what you are